Subin Lee / Life History Interview First Draft / Thurs 1-3pm

My mom is the person who knows me and understands me better than anyone else in the world. This is why I feel comfortable being with her. She is a fun person to spend time with, and a great cook. She loves her children and always gives what's best for us. She is a great friend and a wonderful mother. I can never imagine anyone else being my mom─could this be why I take her love for granted? Ironically, despite her being the one whom I spent most of my life with, I couldn't proudly say that I know everything about her. This thought led me to ask her a few questions that I had never actually cared to ask for all these years.

 

"Mom, what kind of student were you when you were young?" I asked. My mom looked up at me from a cup of coffee she had been drinking. "A question all out of a sudden! Why do you ask? Is it for homework or something?" She teased. Dang, she knew me too well. "Yeah," I replied sheepishly. "But I am really curious about how you were at school. Were you anything like me or Chaeeun?"

 

           Mom, looking thoughtful, answered my question. "I am pretty much the same with how I used to be then". My mom, a cheerful person to hang out with, had lots of friends at school. She still contacted them every now and then. She was the center of her large circle of friends. She told me her memories at school. She laughed as she recalled a memory of the time she got scolded by her teacher because she went out to buy snacks with her friend in self study session. I laughed. It was amusing to hear her recollections, yet also surprising. I had never realized the obvious fact that she was a young, lively girl once. She wasn't born a mother. All the memories she told me were blissful ones. I told her that I was glad that she had spent a happy time as a child.

 

"So there is nothing you would change about your life then, if you could go back?"

Mom smiled slightly at my remark. "Of course there are some things I wish would have been different," the tip of her finger touched lightly along the cup she was holding. Mom seemed to be lost in mind. "I had to give up several things that I wanted to do."

 

           Born in a poor family as a fourth child among five siblings, mom often had to give up things she wanted. Some were trivial little things as watching a show that her brother likes instead of a show she wanted to watch. Others she had given up were some important issues that could have changed her life and the way of living. In her teens mom had marked out for artistic senses. Her friends always asked her to draw something for them, and her teachers complimented her. Mom herself enjoyed drawing and painting as well. She wanted to study art. However, art study was costly, and mom knew that it would be impossible for her parents to pay for it while making a living for the family. Moreover, her older sister was taking private lessons for her exams. There was no money to spare. Mom had to put her dreams aside.

 

As I listened to mom, I recalled the time when I was a young kid. I had loved to draw and paint, and was quite good at it. Mom was always pleased whenever I gave her my piece of drawing. She signed me up for an art class, which I enjoyed attending. Now I only draw for fun, but mom had also told me a few years ago that if I had said that I wanted to study art professionally, she would have supported me as far as she could.

 

"That isn't the end," Mom said, interrupting my thoughts. "After I graduated from college, I studied English. I loved learning a new language. Back then, not many people could speak English, and I enjoyed being a bridge between Korean and English. It was the one thing that I could proudly announce that I can do better than others. I wanted to study abroad, to study English further and to learn about the world."

 

           But again, money was the problem. What she had earned from her company wasn't enough to allow her to study abroad. Her family's economic situation didn't get any better. When mom was troubled about this, her father, my grandfather whom I have never met, told her that he would finance her studies, and told her to go. Mom was surprised, but she already knew what she should do. She gave up studying abroad. She couldn't bear to put more burdens on her family.

 

"Nevertheless, I was really thankful that my dad supported my dream." Mom smiled lightly. I gave her a smile, too. "Because I know how it feels to give up your dream because you cannot afford it, I made myself a promise to support my children's dreams as much as I can." Mom told me that this encouraged her and dad to make money. She didn't want her children to give up what they want to do because of money, just like she had to.

 

           Mom had always encouraged me and my sister to go on and do what we wish to do. She told me she has enough money to support me if I want to study abroad, or study further at a graduate school. She would assure me, "That's what we earned money for."

 

I had thought that what she tells me was just a lecture to make me study. Before today, I had felt uncomfortable and burdensome when she said such things. I never realized what was behind such words. Mom was caring for me more than I had ever known. She had been supporting me to pursue my dream no matter what.