4.2
Bus stop at midnight:
Cars swishing by, giggling sound, someone shouting, smell gasoline and rotten food, painful freezing wind, skidding noise of cars, honking, police siren, someone bursting music in their car, announcement of bus arrivals.
4.4
Sight: My mom's painting, dresser with a huge mirror, bathroom door,
Sound: TV noises, whispering, car noise
Smell: mom's cosmetics, shampoo
Touch: fluffy blanket, soft bed, soft pillow
I used to sleep with my mom and my dad until I was 6 years old. For some reason, I remember our room clearly although I was pretty young at that time. I can still see myself sleeping in my own pink bed right next to my parents'. My bed was like baby's bed. It was really high, I could barely climb up my bed. It had pink pillow, pink blanket and pink teddy bear. The teddy bear was all worn out. Its' ears were almost falling apart. Right next to my bed was my mom's dresser. She kept all her cosmetics and perfumes there so the room always smelled like make up. Sometimes the room was full of rose and sometimes was full of lilac.
Whenever I closed my eyes to sleep, I could hear the TV sound from the living room, and gentle whispers of my family. They talked quietly to not wake me up. I could also hear cars honking through the big window above the head of my bed.
There was a restroom inside our room. My parents always kept the door closed but I could still smell shampoo and soap. I could smell fresh smells of toothpaste also. Right next to the bathroom door was my mom's painting. Her painting room was across the living room. She loved to hang her work on the wall. I remember staring at her abstract painting until I gently fell into sleep.
4.4 I wish I were in your shoes :( I really want to lay in bed right now! I can imagine your room and sense what you were feeling. But I'm starting to wonder about your mother's works. You can add more details of paintings.
ReplyDelete201501670 chaeyoung son
The list of senses you've written down to describe a bus stop at midnight seems realistic enough; I could picture it in my head. However, it would've been much better if you had put them together in words. I think it will become a great descriptive writing if do so.
ReplyDeleteAs for your work for task 4.4, I liked how your writing conveys the cozy, snug atmosphere of the room. One thing you could consider to improve this work may be to give additional, more specific explanations. For instance when talking about what you saw in the room, rather than just writing down what you've seen as a whole, you can consider giving a specific detail of it- e.g. a snapped thread and cottons sticking out of the bear's ears when talking about the doll. What did the shampoo smell like? How was your toothpaste fresh? I think providing such additional details can help bring more vividness to your work. :)
------
201502398 Subin Lee