Do you have an experience of finding out that something is very different from your expectations? For me and my family, we had such experience when we went travelling to Italy.
My family and I went to Italy in the summer of ___. We had travelled to many different countries, but Italy was my mother's favorite place of all time. She was eagerly anticipating for another trip to Italy. The rest of the family was also looking forward to it as well; we had spent a great time in our last trip to Rome and Venice.
Finally our vacation started, and we got ready for the trip to Italy. My parents rented a car so that we could drive around the country, and prepared money to use. I was also extremely delighted as I packed my stuff – at this point I never knew what would happen in our trip.
My family started off our trip joyously. We were awed by the old architectures around us, from which we could imagine the prosperity the country had enjoyed. It was hard to believe the picturesque scenery that we were facing. The first few days in Italy seemed perfect. And just like always, pick pocketing seemed like a word that didn't matter to us at all.
After spending a wonderful time in ___, our family decided to go to Firenze. It was in the evening when we arrived in the rural part of the city and started looking for accommodations. It was especially difficult to find one that day. Finally my dad found some signposts saying that there is a hotel, and we followed it. But where it led us was an ordinary house that didn't quite seem like a hotel. The fences were closed, and there were no other cars or travelers around. We started to wonder why. Because the 'hotel' felt different and strange, the rest of the family suggested looking for other accommodations; my dad got off the car to ask an inquiry. He rang the doorbell, but no answer came from it. Dad explained that we followed the hotel sign, and asked if we could stay here. Still no answer came from the house. The rest of us in the car were muttering, saying how it probably isn't a hotel and how it would be much better to go look for some other place instead of asking this odd accommodation. It was just then; three dogs suddenly ran out of the house and charged towards dad.
It was interesting how you started your first sentence of the writing with a question. I personally was able to relate to the whole topic of your writing as I enjoy travelling with my family, too. It seems like you have used the right verb tense throughout your piece. However, the writing felt like it ended somewhat randomly at the end; it would be better if you further elaborate on how this experience had affected your life with more detail when you revise it.
ReplyDelete201503676 Hong Chae-ryoung
Dear classmates, I am sorry to inform you that this is not a complete version of my First Draft.
ReplyDeleteSo here is a new version of my first draft. This isn't the final version; I couldn't find a way to delete this post, so I'll post my revised draft in the comment. The completed work will be uploaded soon!
-------
FIRST DRAFT part 1
Do you have an experience of finding out that something is very different from your expectations? For me and my family, we had such an experience when we went travelling to Italy.
My family and I went to Italy in the summer of 2009. We had travelled to many different countries, but Italy was my mother’s favorite place of all time. She was eagerly anticipating for another trip to Italy. The rest of the family was also looking forward to it as well; we had spent a great time in our last trip to Rome and Venice.
Finally our vacation started, and we got ready for the trip to Italy. My parents rented a car so that we could drive around the country, and prepared money to use. I was also extremely delighted as I packed my stuff – at this point I never knew what would happen in our trip.
My family started off our trip joyously. We were awed by the old architectures around us, from which we could imagine the prosperity the country had enjoyed. It was hard to believe the picturesque scenery that we were facing. The first few days in Italy seemed perfect. And just like always, pick pocketing seemed like a word that didn’t matter to us at all.
Then we were headed to Firenze, where it all began. It was in the evening when we arrived in the rural part of the city and started looking for accommodations. It was especially difficult to find one that day. Finally my dad found some signposts saying that there is a hotel, and we followed it. But where it led us was an ordinary house that didn’t quite seem like a hotel. The fences were closed, and there were no other cars or travelers around. We started to wonder why. Because the ‘hotel’ felt different and strange, the rest of the family suggested looking for other accommodations; my dad got off the car to ask an inquiry. He rang the doorbell, but no answer came from it. Dad explained that we followed the hotel sign, and asked if we could stay here. Still no answer came from the house. The rest of us in the car were muttering, saying how it probably isn’t a hotel and how it would be much better to go look for some other place instead of asking this odd accommodation. It was just then; three dogs suddenly ran out of the house and charged towards dad. My sister and I screamed in fear. Dad shouted, and hurriedly got into the car. The hostile dogs ran around the car several times, as if they were waiting for someone to attack, before they were called back by the owner. The care was dead silent with shock. We couldn’t understand why, instead of answering the doorbell, the owner of the house decided to order his dogs to go after a visitor. We didn’t know what we had to do; it was a totally unexpected situation in a foreign country. Dad wasn’t seriously hurt, but he had been bitten by the dog on his knee. He was bleeding. Fortunately, an old lady from the neighborhood had seen the whole incident. She calmed us down and called the police for us. We thanked the sweet lady, and went followed the ‘polizia’. Dad was treated in the hospital that they took us, and I explained to the policemen about what had happened. Apparently, there was nothing they could really do about the hostile ‘hotel’. Instead they introduced us to a real hotel, where all of my family went straight to bed as soon as we got inside.
It was a lurid event, but our family decided to forget about it since we are on holiday, in Italy. My mom cheered us up, telling us that it would be a fun experience to remember later. She was true! Soon, all our family recovered our spirits and got ready to get down to some real business—to go sightseeing in the city.
Subin Lee 201502398
ReplyDeleteDear classmates, I am sorry to inform you that this is not a complete version of my First Draft.
So here is a new version of my first draft. This isn't the final version; I couldn't find a way to delete this post, so I'll post my revised draft in the comment. The completed work will be uploaded soon!
-------
FIRST DRAFT part 2
My first impression of Firenze was that there are way too many pigeons. But besides that, the ancient classical architectures were spectacular. Before we begin to look around the city, our family decided to have a quick lunch at McDonalds. There were a lot of people in McDonalds, so dad and I waited in our seats as mom and sister lined up to order some food. Me and dad waited hungrily, but mom and sister didn’t come back for a long time. We assumed that it’s because there were long lines of people waiting. Still then there was no sign of them returning, so we began to wonder why. This is when mom and sister came back, without any food in their hands. On her face, mom had an expression that I had never seen before. I was surprised. Dad was startled, and asked her what had happened. “My wallet is missing,” mom grimaced. She said that her bag was wide open and the wallet had been gone when she reached to pay for the food. “It must’ve been a pick-pocket,” she sobbed. She explained that her bag had been perfectly fine before she turned order food. “That must be why the person behind the counter was looking at us oddly.” It was unbelievable. Another incident, just after the one with unwelcoming dogs? We were all speechless. In particular, mom was having a hard time accepting the situation; it was too much for her. It wasn’t just the wallet that had been stolen, everything inside the wallet--including credit cards, her ID card and cash of €750. Mom cried and cried. She thought that it was her fault for not paying close attention. I didn’t know what to say, but dad was different. He didn’t seem annoyed or angry at all. He comforted mom, telling her it is fine. He went to the closest bank to suspend card transactions, and searched for mom’s wallet—in hopes that the thief is generous enough to throw it away after taking all the money. But as you can expect, there were no signs for the wallet. My family was dumbfounded at the series of events that had happened in the last few days. Nobody felt like traveling anymore, so we ended our trip there and drove straight back home. The car was silent the whole time, except for some sobs from mom, and dad’s soothing words.
The series of unfortunate events that happened left our family a strong impression of Italy. It has become a country my mom cringes just by the name of it. This old, scarred memory from my young years has taught me the feeling of extreme shock from the deep down. However, I can also say that it is a memorable one, in a way, since I could learn family togetherness, how better we are with someone to rely on.
201502398 Subin Lee
ReplyDeleteFINAL DRAFT (1/2)
-----------------------
An impression you have about a certain thing transforms into something completely different once you go a series of unpleasant events. I learnt this hard lesson through a trip to Italy, in the summer of 2009.
It was my second time in Italy, and all my family was hyper for the trip; we had enjoyed every minute of our first visit to Rome and Venice. As we had expected, Italy was wondrous as ever. We were awed by the ancient architectures and the picturesque sceneries the country presented. The trip in Italy seemed to be going along flawlessly; never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine what would happen to my family.
It all took place in Firenze. The first incident happened in the evening, when we just arrived in the rural part of the city. There were no signs of accommodations; it was especially difficult to find one that day. Finally, dad found some signposts to a hotel, but where it led us was an ordinary house. The gates were closed, and there seemed to be no other guests, nor their cars. Now, as I think of it, we could’ve just left and look for someplace else. Instead, my dad got off the car and rang the doorbell of that peculiar dwelling. We waited for an answer, but what the owner decided to do instead was something that none of us had expected. The door opened, and in a flash, three dogs charged towards dad. We all screamed in fear. Dad shouted, and hurriedly got into the car. None of us could understand the abrupt hostility they held towards our family. The dogs, wistful of missing their target, were called back to the house after a minute of lingering around our car. Dad wasn’t seriously injured, but his knee was bleeding from a dog bite. We were at our wits’ end, coming across an unforeseen accident in a foreign land. Fortunately, an old lady from the neighborhood had seen the whole incident, and called the police for us. After thanking the sweet lady, we went and followed the ‘polizia’. I have never imagined that I would have a chance to see a local police, let alone explain to them an accident, face to face. Apparently, there was nothing they could do about the abnormal ‘hotel’. Instead, they introduced us to a real hotel where all of us knocked out sleeping right away.
It was a lurid event, but our family decided to forget about it, since we are on a vacation in Italy, our family’s favorite country. Mom cheered us up, telling us that it would be an amusing experience to remember later. She was true! Thanks to her, we soon recovered our spirits and got ready to get down to some real business—to go sightseeing in the city.
201502398 Subin Lee
ReplyDeleteFINAL DRAFT (2/2)
--------------------
Before admiring the quaint buildings and the ambience of Firenze, we decided to grab a quick lunch. We couldn’t afford time to go exploring for a local restaurant, so my family went to good-old-McDonalds. It didn’t take us long to find out that this decision was a critically bad one, especially because the word ‘pick-pocket’ never had any relevance to our family until then…
There were a lot of people, tourists like us, in McDonalds. Dad and I waited in our seats as mom and sister lined up to order some food. There were long lines of people waiting, but even given that reason, there was no sign of them returning. As I began to wonder what is taking them so long, mom and sister came back, with empty hands. No food! I gave them a quizzical glance—when I noticed that on her face, mom had an expression that I had never seen before. Dad had noticed that too. Startled, he asked her what had happened.
“My wallet is missing,” mom grimaced. She said that her bag was wide open and the wallet had been gone when she reached to pay for the food.
“It must’ve been a pick-pocket,” she sobbed. She explained that nothing was wrong before she turned order food.
“That must be why the person behind the counter was looking at us oddly,” my sister added. “The staff must’ve spotted the whole scene”
It was unbelievable. Another incident, just after the one with unwelcoming dogs? We were all speechless. In particular, mom was having a hard time accepting the situation; she was convinced that it was her fault for not paying close attention. Everything inside the wallet—credit cards, her ID card and cash of €750—had been taken, along with her wallet. I didn’t know what to say, but dad was different. He didn’t seem annoyed or angry at all. He comforted mom, telling her it is fine. We went to the closest bank to suspend card transactions, and searched for mom’s wallet—in hopes that the thief is generous enough to throw it away after taking the money. But as you can guess, the thief didn’t spare us the relief of finding it.
My family was dumbfounded at the series of events that had happened in the last couple of days. The perfect vacation had turned into a total nightmare. Nobody felt like traveling anymore, so we ended our trip there and drove straight back home. The car was silent, except for some sobs from mom, and dad’s soothing words.
The series of unfortunate events that happened left our family a strong impression of Italy. It totally flipped the affection we had of the country. It has now become a country that my mom cringes just by the name of it. This old, scarred memory from the summer of 2009 has taught me the feeling of extreme shock from deep down. It made me learn that the more your look forward to something, the more badly you are let down when it goes wrong. This sour lesson, however, has also taught me that you are able to cope with tough situations much easily when you are together with the people you can trust and rely on. Not to mention the very basic thing: always be aware when travelling in a foreign country!