I was an ordinary highschool student. I hated drawing attention and tried to blend in as much as I can. I never participated in school events and dances, except one thing, school orchestra. I had always participated in orchestra since I was young and I signed up for school orchestra as well. I was the first-chair cello, a concert principal.
Just like any other days, our orchestra was practicing for the big annual concert. It was just a week before the big day, and our conductor decided to add a cello solo part to the music and asked me to do the solo part. I was quite confident at that time and thus I accepted to do so. The solo part practice went very smoothly and I thought there was nothing to worry about.
Finally, on the concert day, waiting at the back stage, I peeked out to see how many people had come. I soon found out that I had to play in front of a full house. I suddenly felt sweat coming down my back and a big wave of anxiety and nervousness attacking me. Before I could calm down, we had to come out to the stage and start playing. I tried to focus only on the music sheet in front of me as if I was simply just practicing in my own room. However, I could feel fear creeping in as the solo part was approaching.
Just as I expected, I messed it up terribly. Maybe it was just me and the audience did not even notice my mistakes, but this terrible moment has become a seriously traumatizing memory for me, even until now. I still fear standing in front of a big audience, afraid that I might have to deal with such embarassing moment again.
I defintely know how it feels to stand in front of the audience and mess up the solo as I have had such experience when I used to play the flute few years ago. I guess that one trauma really affects my life for quite a while. Your writing was specially more interesting for me as I was able to engage with it!
ReplyDelete201503676 Hong Chae-ryoung
While reading this I could feel the anxiety as if I were in that very place! I have a similar experience, actually, I have lots. When I was playing as second violin in the school orchestra, I made a mistake of playing a note when we had to pause. In addition, I also messed a stage performing as keyboard in a band. That's not all; I broke out in tears with my friends when singing a song in a choir for the last time. You can probably guess that I never, ever go on stage ever since then...! Such experiences really last long in your memories! I could heartily emphasize with your experience.
ReplyDelete201502398 Subin Lee
I always envy people who got the music talent! I played cello for 2-3 years but I gave up at the critical moment when I was preparing for the university exam. It makes me regret!
ReplyDelete201503853 LEE BUN CALVIN
I can relate your experience! You don't want to go through that again, do you? Let's just forget that moment. But I don't know you are a cellist! I love to hear your sound of cello.
ReplyDelete201501670 Chaeyoung Son
I can relate your experience! You don't want to go through that again, do you? Let's just forget that moment. But I don't know you are a cellist! I love to hear your sound of cello.
ReplyDelete201501670 Chaeyoung Son